
(Pack and go back to your mother.)
Man runs home shouting: Pack your bags darling. I just won the 10 Million lottery.
Wife: Do I pack for the beach or mountains?
Man: Who cares? Just pack and go back to your mother.
Wife: Do I pack for the beach or mountains?
Man: Who cares? Just pack and go back to your mother.
(Catch when taking photos.)
Little Johnny's kindergarten class was on a field trip to their local police station where they saw pictures tacked to a bulletin board of the 10 most wanted criminals. One of the youngsters pointed to a picture and asked if it really was the photo of a wanted person.
Policeman: Yes! The detectives want very badly to capture him.
Little Johnny asked: Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?
Policeman: Yes! The detectives want very badly to capture him.
Little Johnny asked: Why didn't you keep him when you took his picture?
(Forget mine.)
(Two men met while both were looking for their lost wives.)
1st: How your's look like?
2nd: She is 5'7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. What about yours?
1st: Forget mine. Let's find yours!
1st: How your's look like?
2nd: She is 5'7, 36-24-36, Fair, Black eyes. What about yours?
1st: Forget mine. Let's find yours!
(Lose all friends.)
Man comes home, finds his wife with his friend in bed.
He shoots his friend to death.
Wife says: If you behave like this, you will lose all your friends.
He shoots his friend to death.
Wife says: If you behave like this, you will lose all your friends.
(Confidence and confidential.)
Sons asks his dad, the difference between confidence and confidential.
Dad says: you are my son, I'm confident. Your friend is also my son, that's confidential!
Dad says: you are my son, I'm confident. Your friend is also my son, that's confidential!
(Cow's don't fly.)
Little birdy in the sky.
You look up and it shits in your eye.
You don't mind and you don't cry.
You just thank God that cows don't fly.
You look up and it shits in your eye.
You don't mind and you don't cry.
You just thank God that cows don't fly.
(Void if seal is broken.)
Bride's Dad hands a note to the groom: Goods delivered are not returnable.
Groom gave another note back to father: Contract void if seal is broken.
Groom gave another note back to father: Contract void if seal is broken.
(Opposite of Dominoes.)
Teacher: What's the opposite of Dominoes?
Student: Well the answer is Domi doesn't know.
Student: Well the answer is Domi doesn't know.
(Congratulate someone for their mistake.)
Wife: When do you congratulate someone for their mistake?
Husband: On their Wedding.
Husband: On their Wedding.
(Anniversary plan.)
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence till next anniversary.
Husband: Let us stand in silence till next anniversary.