(How women keeps secret.)
Scientists have now discovered how women keep their secrets.
They do so within groups of 40.
They do so within groups of 40.
(98% God.)
A: God can walk on water, correct?
B: Yes.
A: Well, I can walk on cucumbers. As you may know, cucumbers are 98% water. So, I am 98% God.
B: Yes.
A: Well, I can walk on cucumbers. As you may know, cucumbers are 98% water. So, I am 98% God.
(Voice in my mind.)
9 out of 10 voices in my head are telling me that I am too fat.
The last one is calmly preparing a bowl of chips.
The last one is calmly preparing a bowl of chips.
(In use.)
Customer: Waiter, could you bring me some tooth picks, please?
Waiter: I'm sorry sir. But you'll have to wait a little bit, they are currently all in use.
Waiter: I'm sorry sir. But you'll have to wait a little bit, they are currently all in use.
(See my husband.)
Julia: Jenny, if you think your husband is handsome, you should see my boyfriend.
Jenny: Oh, he's a hottie, is he?
Julia: Nope, he's an optician.
Jenny: Oh, he's a hottie, is he?
Julia: Nope, he's an optician.
(Eat from a empty cup.)
Customer to waiter: Everyday you charge me money for a cup of coffee. How wonderful it would be if you serve me coffee free of cost today.
Waiter: Sir, everyday you drink coffee from a filled cup. How wonderful it would be if you drink from an empty cup today.
Waiter: Sir, everyday you drink coffee from a filled cup. How wonderful it would be if you drink from an empty cup today.
(Don't eat my brain.)
Once a girl askd her BF:
Why we have units to measure weight, height & distance but not love, friendship & trust?
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Boy thought for a while...
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And than took her in his arms, looked deep in her eyes & said, "Look Girl, don't Eat my brain! I have already failed in Physics".
Why we have units to measure weight, height & distance but not love, friendship & trust?
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Boy thought for a while...
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And than took her in his arms, looked deep in her eyes & said, "Look Girl, don't Eat my brain! I have already failed in Physics".
(Why girls love longer than boys?)
Why girls live longer than boys?
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Scientific studies have proved that SHOPPING never causes HEART ATTACKS, but PAYING THE BILLS does.
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Scientific studies have proved that SHOPPING never causes HEART ATTACKS, but PAYING THE BILLS does.
(Want to be a millionaire.)
Boy: I want to be a millionaire. Just like my dad.
Girl: Wow, your dad is a millionaire?
Boy: No, but he always wanted to be...
Girl: Wow, your dad is a millionaire?
Boy: No, but he always wanted to be...
(Didn't talk to you.)
(Teacher fell asleep in class and a little naughty boy walked up to him.)
Little boy: Teacher are you sleeping in class?
Teacher: No I am not sleeping in class.
Little boy: What were you doing sir ?
Teacher: I was talking to God.
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(The next day the naughty boy fell asleep in class and the same teacher walks up to him.)
Teacher: Young man, you are sleeping in my class.
Little boy: No not me sir, I am not sleeping.
Angry teacher: What were you doing?
Little boy: I was talking to God.
Angry teacher: What did He say?
Little boy: God said He didn't talk to you yesterday.
Little boy: Teacher are you sleeping in class?
Teacher: No I am not sleeping in class.
Little boy: What were you doing sir ?
Teacher: I was talking to God.
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(The next day the naughty boy fell asleep in class and the same teacher walks up to him.)
Teacher: Young man, you are sleeping in my class.
Little boy: No not me sir, I am not sleeping.
Angry teacher: What were you doing?
Little boy: I was talking to God.
Angry teacher: What did He say?
Little boy: God said He didn't talk to you yesterday.
