(Didn't have driver license.)
Judge: Why did you steal the car?
Man: I had to get to work.
Judge: Why didn't you take the bus?
Man: I don't have a driver's license for the bus.
Man: I had to get to work.
Judge: Why didn't you take the bus?
Man: I don't have a driver's license for the bus.
(Stop reading.)
Andrey: I've read so many horrible things about drinking and smoking recently that I made a new decision.
Cindy: Wow! That's nice. Have you made a decision to quit taking them?
Andrey: No! But I've made a decision to stop reading all these things.
Cindy: Wow! That's nice. Have you made a decision to quit taking them?
Andrey: No! But I've made a decision to stop reading all these things.
(Take off!)
My step mother came to me and demanded that I take all her clothes off.
So I took off her blouse.
She said: Now off with the skirt.
I did, and she continued: Now take off my stockings.
And when I did that, she said: Now the bra and the panties.
I took them off.
She continued: And don't ever let me catch you wearing my clothes again!
So I took off her blouse.
She said: Now off with the skirt.
I did, and she continued: Now take off my stockings.
And when I did that, she said: Now the bra and the panties.
I took them off.
She continued: And don't ever let me catch you wearing my clothes again!
(Customer feedback.)
A student at a management school came up to a pretty girl and hugged her without any warning.
The surprised girl said: What was that?
The guy smiled at herv Direct marketing!
The girl slapped him soundly.
Boy: (holding his cheek) What was that?.
Girl: Customer feedback.
The surprised girl said: What was that?
The guy smiled at herv Direct marketing!
The girl slapped him soundly.
Boy: (holding his cheek) What was that?.
Girl: Customer feedback.
(No school tomorrow.)
Mother: How was school today, Patrick?
Patrick: It was really great mum! Today we made explosives.
Mother: Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?
Patrick: I don't need to go to school from tomorrow.
Patrick: It was really great mum! Today we made explosives.
Mother: Ooh, they do very fancy stuff with you these days. And what will you do at school tomorrow?
Patrick: I don't need to go to school from tomorrow.
(I hate people who take drugs.)
I hate people who take drugs.
Especially, Drug Enforcement Administration.
Especially, Drug Enforcement Administration.
(Two elephant and a man.)
Two elephants meet a totally naked guy.
After a while one elephant says to the other: I really don't get how he can feed himself with that small thing.
After a while one elephant says to the other: I really don't get how he can feed himself with that small thing.
(He's not our child.)
Husband brings the child home from kindergarten and asks his wife: He's been crying the whole way home. Isn't he sick or something?
Wife replies: No! hhe was just trying to tell you he isn't our Frankie.
Wife replies: No! hhe was just trying to tell you he isn't our Frankie.
(Got first.)
Two police officers crash their car into a tree.
After a moment of silence, one of them says: Wow, that's got to be the fastest we ever got to the accident site.
After a moment of silence, one of them says: Wow, that's got to be the fastest we ever got to the accident site.
(Change the topic.)
Broccoli: Hey, I look like a tree.
Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella.
Walnut: I look exactly like a brain.
Banana: Man, can we change the topic please?
Mushroom: Wow, I look just like an umbrella.
Walnut: I look exactly like a brain.
Banana: Man, can we change the topic please?
