(Answer at once.)
Teacher: Okay class, when I ask you a question, I want you all to answer me at once. How much is six times 3?
Class: "At once!"
Class: "At once!"
(Got F in test.)
A boy comes home from school and tells his daddy he got an F that day.
The dad gets angry and says he'll go to school the next day to make things clear.
He does, and asks the teacher: Why did you give my son an F?
The teacher calmly replies: Because it's not possible to give him a G.
The dad gets angry and says he'll go to school the next day to make things clear.
He does, and asks the teacher: Why did you give my son an F?
The teacher calmly replies: Because it's not possible to give him a G.
(Angel is greedy girl.)
Teacher: Angel buys 5 chocolate bars. Her friend Juliet asks her for 2 of them. How many chocolate bars does Angel end up with?
Student: Five.
Teacher: How?
Student: Angel is quite a greedy girl.
Student: Five.
Teacher: How?
Student: Angel is quite a greedy girl.
(Halfway in my pants.)
Johnny: Miss, may I go to the bathroom, please? Right now?
Teacher: OK, Johnny, but tell me the alphabet first, then you can go.
Johnny: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z.
Teacher: Hey, what happened to the P?
Johnny: It's already halfway down my pants.
Teacher: OK, Johnny, but tell me the alphabet first, then you can go.
Johnny: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O Q R S T U V W X Y Z.
Teacher: Hey, what happened to the P?
Johnny: It's already halfway down my pants.
(Where were you?)
Son: Mummy, where were you when I was born?
Mom: In the hospital.
Son: And daddy?
Mom: At work.
Son: That's great. So nobody was home when I arrived.
Mom: In the hospital.
Son: And daddy?
Mom: At work.
Son: That's great. So nobody was home when I arrived.
(How do you put them together?)
Farmer asks to Little Johnny: Have you ever seen a little calf being born?
Little Johnny: No, how is it?
Farmer: Well, first come the front legs, then the head, then the shoulders and the body and finally the hind legs.
Little Johnny: Wow, cool, and how do you put it all together then?
Little Johnny: No, how is it?
Farmer: Well, first come the front legs, then the head, then the shoulders and the body and finally the hind legs.
Little Johnny: Wow, cool, and how do you put it all together then?
(No chemistry.)
A: Why did the physics teacher break up with the biology teacher?
B: Because there was no chemistry.
B: Because there was no chemistry.
(Become a garbage man.)
Man to his wife: Do you know what our 6 year old son wants to be once he's big?
Wife: No.
Man: A garbage man. And you know why?
Wife: No, why?
Man: Because he thinks they only work once a week.
Wife: No.
Man: A garbage man. And you know why?
Wife: No, why?
Man: Because he thinks they only work once a week.
(I don't like bread.)
Mother: Eat your bread.
Child: I don't like bread. Why do I have to eat the bread.
Mother: So you become big and strong.
Child: Why do I have to become big and strong?
Mother: So you can provide the daily bread to your family.
Child: But I don't like bread!
Child: I don't like bread. Why do I have to eat the bread.
Mother: So you become big and strong.
Child: Why do I have to become big and strong?
Mother: So you can provide the daily bread to your family.
Child: But I don't like bread!
(Says keep quiet.)
Friend: Why are you sitting sad?
Little Johnny: It's odd. First my parents teach me to speak and then they want me to be quiet the whole time.
Little Johnny: It's odd. First my parents teach me to speak and then they want me to be quiet the whole time.