(Plane going to crash.)
A plane with 4 people on board is about to crash. The 4 people are the pilot, the president, the world's smartest man and a ten-year-old schoolboy. They only have 3 parachutes between them.
The president cries: "I'm the president, people need me to live!" and he jumps out.
The world's smartest man cries: "I'm the world's smartest man, I'm needed in the world!" and he jumps out.
The pilot sighs and says: "You take the last parachute, kid, I'll go down with the plane, that's my job."
The kid smiles: "No need, there are still two parachutes left. The world's smartest man took my school bag.
The president cries: "I'm the president, people need me to live!" and he jumps out.
The world's smartest man cries: "I'm the world's smartest man, I'm needed in the world!" and he jumps out.
The pilot sighs and says: "You take the last parachute, kid, I'll go down with the plane, that's my job."
The kid smiles: "No need, there are still two parachutes left. The world's smartest man took my school bag.
(Write with closed eyes.)
Fiona asks her daddy: Dad, can you write with your eyes closed?
Dad: I believe I could, child, if I tried.
Fiona: Excellent, do you think you would like to try it on my school report card?
Dad: I believe I could, child, if I tried.
Fiona: Excellent, do you think you would like to try it on my school report card?
(Deserve a beating.)
Father says to Little Johnny: Johnny, such terrible marks deserve a beating, you understand that, right?
Little Johnny: I couldn't agree more, dad. I have the teacher's address right here. Let's go.
Little Johnny: I couldn't agree more, dad. I have the teacher's address right here. Let's go.
(Question from 1700.)
Teacher: Whoever can tell me some actual fact about the history of the 1700s will get an A in final exams.
Little Johnny: Everybody from that time is now dead.
(No cookies in bed.)
A female kangaroo scratches her stomach for a while like mad and finally yells, "How often do I have to repeat myself, no cookies in bed!"
(My mom's money.)
Two boys are walking outside and one of them finds a hundred dollar bill.
His friend suggests that they should take it to the lost-and-found office.
The boy replies: No point. This is my mom?s money.
His friend is startled: But how can you know that?
Boy: Because my father keeps saying that my mother is just throwing money out the window.
His friend suggests that they should take it to the lost-and-found office.
The boy replies: No point. This is my mom?s money.
His friend is startled: But how can you know that?
Boy: Because my father keeps saying that my mother is just throwing money out the window.
(Twice than this.)
Police officer talks to a driver: Your tail light is broken, your tires must be exchanged and your bumper hangs halfway down. That will be 300 dollars.
Driver: Alright, go ahead. They want twice as much as that at the garage.
Driver: Alright, go ahead. They want twice as much as that at the garage.
(Tell joke.)
You: I'll tell you a joke!
Friend: OK.
You: Joke.
Friend: OK.
You: Joke.
(Laugh at his jokes.)
When a guy says he likes girls with a sense of humor, he doesn't mean that he wants a girl to be really witty and funny.
He means he wants her to laugh at his jokes.
He means he wants her to laugh at his jokes.
(We have cabins for that.)
In a boutique:
Could I try the dress in the shop window, please?
I'm sorry madam but no. We have cabins for that.
Could I try the dress in the shop window, please?
I'm sorry madam but no. We have cabins for that.
