(Lots of smoke.)
Teacher: 80 chimneys plus 5 chimneys plus 8 chimneys plus 12 chimneys. What is the result?
Student: Lots of smoke.
Student: Lots of smoke.
(Good and bad news.)
Little Johnny: Mom, I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?
Johnny's Mom: OK, let's hear the good news first.
Little Johnny: I got a A+ in Math today.
Johnny's Mom: That's good! And now the bad one.
Little Johnny: That was a lie.
Johnny's Mom: OK, let's hear the good news first.
Little Johnny: I got a A+ in Math today.
Johnny's Mom: That's good! And now the bad one.
Little Johnny: That was a lie.
(Say bye to all pets.)
Teacher: Patrick, you are an hour and a half late for school. What in the world?
Student: Sorry sir, I had to say bye to all of my pets.
Teacher: An hour and a half to say bye?
Student: Well it is quite a big ant farm.
Student: Sorry sir, I had to say bye to all of my pets.
Teacher: An hour and a half to say bye?
Student: Well it is quite a big ant farm.
(You're too young.)
Q: What did the tall chimney say to the small chimney?
A: Hey, you're way too young to smoke.
A: Hey, you're way too young to smoke.
(Do you have bread?)
A duck walks into a bar.
It asks the barkeeper: Do you have bread?
Bartender: No.
Duck: Do you have bread?
Bartender: NO!
Duck: Do you...
Bartender: Listen! I have no bread and if you ask me one more time, I'm gonna nail you to that wall.
Duck: Do you have nails?
Bartender: NO!
Duck: Do you have bread?
It asks the barkeeper: Do you have bread?
Bartender: No.
Duck: Do you have bread?
Bartender: NO!
Duck: Do you...
Bartender: Listen! I have no bread and if you ask me one more time, I'm gonna nail you to that wall.
Duck: Do you have nails?
Bartender: NO!
Duck: Do you have bread?
(We have to run away.)
A little boy stands in front of a house and cries.
A guy sees him and asks: Why all the crying, little guy?
Baby: I can't reach the doorbell.
The man rings the bell for him and smiles at the boy.
The boy smiles back at him and says: Great, and now we just have to run away very quickly!
A guy sees him and asks: Why all the crying, little guy?
Baby: I can't reach the doorbell.
The man rings the bell for him and smiles at the boy.
The boy smiles back at him and says: Great, and now we just have to run away very quickly!
(Said no.)
Two years ago I asked the girl of my dreams on a date, today I asked her to marry me.
She said no, on both occasions.
She said no, on both occasions.
(Why?)
A: Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road?
B: Because there weren't even any roads during the Jurassic Period!
(It caught virus.)
Patient: Hello doctor, can you look at my laptop?
Doctor: Why?
Patient: It looks like it caught a virus.
Doctor: Why?
Patient: It looks like it caught a virus.
(In hurry.)
Bus driver to passenger: Why don't you want to sit down?
Passenger: No, I am in a hurry.
Passenger: No, I am in a hurry.