(Ask your mother.)
Son: Daddy, where is Australia?
Dad: You have to ask your mother. She cleaned here the last time.
Dad: You have to ask your mother. She cleaned here the last time.
(Don't deserve zero.)
Teacher: You got a zero in the last exam.
Roger: I don't think I deserve a zero!
Teacher: Neither do I. But I can't go any lower than that.
Roger: I don't think I deserve a zero!
Teacher: Neither do I. But I can't go any lower than that.
(Come with me.)
Teacher: Marvin, please go outside the door and stay there.
Marvin: Why?
Teacher: Because your jabbering(meaningless talk) is very disruptive and nobody wants to listen to it.
Marvin: Then perhaps you should come along with me.
Marvin: Why?
Teacher: Because your jabbering(meaningless talk) is very disruptive and nobody wants to listen to it.
Marvin: Then perhaps you should come along with me.
(Teaching my worms.)
Villager: Sir, you cannot fish here!
Me: Don't worry, I'm not fishing, I'm just teaching my worm to swim.
Me: Don't worry, I'm not fishing, I'm just teaching my worm to swim.
(Saw some stars.)
Three bunnies want to jump a wall.
First one jumps and clears the wall with a good 4 inch reserve.
The second bunny jumps and makes it over the wall with a 5 inch reserve.
The third bunny jumps and slams headfirst into the wall. When he wakes up, he says: I must have jumped the highest. I definitely saw some stars.
First one jumps and clears the wall with a good 4 inch reserve.
The second bunny jumps and makes it over the wall with a 5 inch reserve.
The third bunny jumps and slams headfirst into the wall. When he wakes up, he says: I must have jumped the highest. I definitely saw some stars.
(Only for teachers.)
A school proudly installs a long row of coat pegs on the wall, with a sign on the last five: ONLY FOR TEACHERS.
The next day somebody adds: BUT CAN ALSO BE USED FOR COATS.
The next day somebody adds: BUT CAN ALSO BE USED FOR COATS.
(Take your license.)
Police officer: Your car is too heavily overloaded. I simply cannot let you continue like that. I'm going to have to take away your driver's license.
Driver: You're kidding me, right? The license can only weigh ten grams.
Driver: You're kidding me, right? The license can only weigh ten grams.
(Start differently.)
Son: Mom, don't get shocked, but I'm at the hospital.
Mom: Son, please. You've been a surgeon there for 8 years now. Can we start our phone calls differently?
Mom: Son, please. You've been a surgeon there for 8 years now. Can we start our phone calls differently?
(Come with someone beautiful.)
Romeo to Juliet: Would you like to be my girlfriend?
Juliet: That's a bit direct. Can't you come up with something more beautiful?
Romeo: I tried, but they didn't want to come.
Juliet: That's a bit direct. Can't you come up with something more beautiful?
Romeo: I tried, but they didn't want to come.
(He's not a snitch.)
The local minister sees that every morning, some apples on his tree are missing.
He makes a sign: God sees everything. The next morning, somebody writes under it: Yes, but he's not a snitch(thief).
He makes a sign: God sees everything. The next morning, somebody writes under it: Yes, but he's not a snitch(thief).