(Use ATM Machine.)
A man asks a trainer in the gym: I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine can I use?
The trainer replied: Use the ATM outside the gym.
The trainer replied: Use the ATM outside the gym.
(For writing Love Letter.)
Boy to His Sister: Please give me your blood, i needed it urgently.
Sister: What is your blood group.
Boy: Any blood group.
Sister: What? Why you needed it?
Boy: For writing love letter to my girlfriend.
Sister: What is your blood group.
Boy: Any blood group.
Sister: What? Why you needed it?
Boy: For writing love letter to my girlfriend.
(Land on the sun.)
USA: We were the first to go to space.
India: We were the first to land on the moon.
Nepal: We will be the first to land on the sun.
India & USA: The sun is to hot. You cannot land on it.
Nepal: We're not stupid. We'll go at night.
India: We were the first to land on the moon.
Nepal: We will be the first to land on the sun.
India & USA: The sun is to hot. You cannot land on it.
Nepal: We're not stupid. We'll go at night.
(Played a guessing game.)
Mom: What did you do at school today?
Mark: We did a guessing game.
Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam today.
Mark: That's right.
Mark: We did a guessing game.
Mom: But I thought you were having a math exam today.
Mark: That's right.
(What did banana say?)
Tom: What did the banana say to the elephant?
Nick: I don't know.
Tom: Nothing. Because Bananas can't talk.
Nick: I don't know.
Tom: Nothing. Because Bananas can't talk.
(Way to double your money.)
Rich: Drop you need the quickest way to double your money?
Bill: Yes!
Rich: Fold it in half and count again.
Bill: Yes!
Rich: Fold it in half and count again.
(Smart Dog.)
A man went to visit a friend and was amazed to find him playing chess with his dog. The man watched the game in astonishment for a while.
Man: I can hardly believe my eyes. That's the smartest dog I've ever seen.
Friend: He's not so smart. I've beaten him three games out of five.
Man: I can hardly believe my eyes. That's the smartest dog I've ever seen.
Friend: He's not so smart. I've beaten him three games out of five.
(15 fruit names.)
Teacher: Okay Johnny, tell me the name of the 12 fruits.
Johnny: Apple, Mango, Orange....
Teacher: And twelve more.
Johnny: One dozen banana.
Johnny: Apple, Mango, Orange....
Teacher: And twelve more.
Johnny: One dozen banana.
(Happy and sad at the same time.)
(Boyfriend to his girlfriend.)
Boyfriend: Dear! Tell me such thing that makes me happy and sad at the same time.
Girlfriend: I Love You....... Brother.
Boyfriend: Dear! Tell me such thing that makes me happy and sad at the same time.
Girlfriend: I Love You....... Brother.
(Eats shoots and leaves.)
A panda bear walks into a restaurant.
He orders the special and eats it.
After eating, he pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter and starts to walk out the door.
The owner of the restaurant says: Hey, what are you doing? You come in here, you kill my waiter and walk away without saying a word. I don't understand.
The panda says: Look it up in the dictionary and walks out the door.
So the owner gets out a dictionary and looks under the heading Panda.
It reads:
Panda - black and white animal; lives in central China; eats shoots and leaves.
He orders the special and eats it.
After eating, he pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter and starts to walk out the door.
The owner of the restaurant says: Hey, what are you doing? You come in here, you kill my waiter and walk away without saying a word. I don't understand.
The panda says: Look it up in the dictionary and walks out the door.
So the owner gets out a dictionary and looks under the heading Panda.
It reads:
Panda - black and white animal; lives in central China; eats shoots and leaves.