(Suck the chocolate.)
(An old grandma brings her grandson a bag of peanuts every day.)
First the grandson enjoyed the peanuts but after a week of eating them he asked: Please granny, don't bring me peanuts anymore. Have them yourself.
The granny answers: You know, I don't have teeth anymore. I just prefer to suck the chocolate around them.
First the grandson enjoyed the peanuts but after a week of eating them he asked: Please granny, don't bring me peanuts anymore. Have them yourself.
The granny answers: You know, I don't have teeth anymore. I just prefer to suck the chocolate around them.
(Same at the funeral.)
My old aunts would come and tease me at weddings: Well Sarah? Do you think you'll be next?
We've settled this quickly once I've started doing the same to them at funerals.
We've settled this quickly once I've started doing the same to them at funerals.
(Having an affair with your wife.)
(Bijay went to the dentist to take out the teeth.)
Dentist: This will hurt a little.
Patient: Ok.
Dentist: I've been having an affair with your wife for a while now.
Dentist: This will hurt a little.
Patient: Ok.
Dentist: I've been having an affair with your wife for a while now.
(Good news from lawyer.)
I got another letter from this lawyer today.
It said Final Notice.
Good that he will not bother me anymore.
It said Final Notice.
Good that he will not bother me anymore.
(Where's the igloo?)
(An eskimo (a group of people living in cold regions.) brings his friend to his home for a visit.)
When they arrive, his friend asks, (puzzled): So where's your igloo?
The friend replies: Oh no, I left the heater on!
When they arrive, his friend asks, (puzzled): So where's your igloo?
The friend replies: Oh no, I left the heater on!
(Need second opinion.)
Doctor: You're obese (very fat).
Patient: For that I definitely want a second opinion.
Doctor: You're quite ugly, too.
Patient: For that I definitely want a second opinion.
Doctor: You're quite ugly, too.
(What happened to the zebra.)
(Two donkeys are standing at a roadside.)
One asks the other: So, shall we cross the road?
The other shakes his head: No way, look at that, what happened to the zebra while he was crossing the road.
One asks the other: So, shall we cross the road?
The other shakes his head: No way, look at that, what happened to the zebra while he was crossing the road.
(She wants to eat herself.)
Guest to the waiter: Can you bring me what the lady at the next table is having?
Waiter: I'm Sorry, sir, but I'm pretty sure she wants to eat it herself.
Waiter: I'm Sorry, sir, but I'm pretty sure she wants to eat it herself.
(You look so beautiful.)
Husband: Wow, Honey, you look really different and beautiful today. Did you do something to your hair?
Wife: Dear, I'm here! She's my sister.
Wife: Dear, I'm here! She's my sister.
(Easy!)
One company owner asks another: Tell me, David, how come your employees are always on time in the mornings?
David replies: Easy. 30 employees and 20 parking spaces.
David replies: Easy. 30 employees and 20 parking spaces.