(Why monkeys carry their baby?)
Teacher: Why do monkeys carry their babies on their backs?
Student: It would be a bit hard dragging a buggy all the way up the trees.
Student: It would be a bit hard dragging a buggy all the way up the trees.
(Afraid is someone clean them.)
Q: Why do gas station managers keep their bathrooms locked?
A: Because they are afraid somebody might sneak in and clean them.
A: Because they are afraid somebody might sneak in and clean them.
(Don't like this annoying clothes.)
Last words of a skydiver?
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Oh crap, I don't need these annoying clothes.
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Oh crap, I don't need these annoying clothes.
(Smell really bad.)
Teacher: Why does the giraffe have such a long neck?
Boy: Because its feet smell really bad.
Boy: Because its feet smell really bad.
(I'm a stranger.)
A very drunk man comes out of the bar and sees another very drunk man.
He looks up in the sky and says: Is that the sun or the moon?
The other drunk man answers: I don't know. I'm a stranger here myself.
He looks up in the sky and says: Is that the sun or the moon?
The other drunk man answers: I don't know. I'm a stranger here myself.
(How much is million dollars.)
The man: God, how long is a million years?
God: To me, it's about a minute.
The man: God, how much is a million dollars?
God: To me it's a penny.
The man: God, may I have a penny?
God: Wait a minute.
God: To me, it's about a minute.
The man: God, how much is a million dollars?
God: To me it's a penny.
The man: God, may I have a penny?
God: Wait a minute.
(Father doesn't like.)
Fred is 32 years old and he is still single.
One day a friend asked: Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?
Fred replied: Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them.
His friend thinks for a moment and says: I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother.
A few months later they meet again and his friend says: Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?
With a frown on his face, Fred answers: Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much.
The friend said: Then what's the problem?
Fred replied: My father doesn't like her.
One day a friend asked: Why aren't you married? Can't you find a woman who will be a good wife?
Fred replied: Actually, I've found many women I wanted to marry, but when I bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them.
His friend thinks for a moment and says: I've got the perfect solution, just find a girl who's just like your mother.
A few months later they meet again and his friend says: Did you find the perfect girl? Did your mother like her?
With a frown on his face, Fred answers: Yes, I found the perfect girl. She was just like my mother. You were right, my mother liked her very much.
The friend said: Then what's the problem?
Fred replied: My father doesn't like her.
(Will I be able to play piano?)
Patient: Doctor, will I be able to play the piano after the operation?
Doctor: Yes, of course.
Patient: Great! I never could before!
Doctor: Yes, of course.
Patient: Great! I never could before!
(Wash the water.)
Teacher: How can we get some clean water?
Student: Bring the water from the river and wash it.
Student: Bring the water from the river and wash it.
(How many apples?)
A guy says to his friend: Guess how many apples I have in my bag.
The friends says: If I guess right, will you give me one of them?
The first guys says: If you guess right, I'll give you both of them!
The friends says: If I guess right, will you give me one of them?
The first guys says: If you guess right, I'll give you both of them!
