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English Jokes Part 9 English Jokes - Part 9: CoverImage

(Bring my wife.)
A guy sits in a taxi and sees his wife entering a hotel with another man.
He ask the driver: Do you want to earn Rs.1000 right away?
The driver excitedly says: What do I have to do?
Man: Bring my wife by the hair out of that hotel, here's a picture of her.
After a while the driver is seen dragging a woman by the hair, while kicking and beating her and puts her in the taxi. The husband surprised and says says: This is not my wife.
The driver replied: Nooooo, this is mine. Hold her for me. I'm going for yours now.




(Wanna dance?)
Two girls were sitting at a club. One was ugly and the other one was beautiful.
Ravi came and walked straight to the ugly girl.
Ravi: Hi!
Ugly girl: Hi!
Ravi: Wanna dance?
Ugly girl (excited): Yes, why not.
Ravi: Ok, go and dance, give me your seat. Let me talk to your friend.




(Don't want to get married.)
One Friend: Do you know, Most of the girls don't want to get married?
Another Friend: Hmm! How did you know?
Friend: I asked lots of girls to marry me. But they all said no.




(Choices.)
On dinner time, Wife asks Husband.
Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: yeah, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and No.




(Great invention.)
Little Johnny comes proudly to his mom: Mom, I've got a great idea for an invention!
Mom: Cool, tell me.
Johnny: It's a computerized hair-cutting machine. You put your head in a cube and the scissors cut whatever hairstyle you wish.
Mom: But how would that work, Johnny? People have all sorts of different head shapes and sizes!
Johnny: Only before cutting, Mom. Only before cutting!




(Bravery in the childhood.)
Teacher: How brave were you during your childhood?
Student: I kicked the Lion's face, I pulled Tiger's tail, I broke Cheetah's leg, I pulled Elephant's tail.
Teacher: Wow! you were very brave. Than others?
Student: Than my parents had to pay $215 to the toy shop.




(Heart touching.)
Heart touching lines by a smoker.
I trust on cigarettes more than girls.
Because, I am ready to damage my lungs but not my heart.




(Where's your dad?)
Teacher: Tell us, Johnny, where is your father staying on business?
Johnny: In Vishakhapatnam.
Teacher: How interesting. And now tell us all how it is spelled.
Johnny: Oh, I just remembered he got reposted to Goa.




(Go away.)
The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow.
Soon, Richard lifts a hand that he's finished and shows the teacher a blank sheet of paper.
Teacher: But Richard, you didn't paint anything on it?
Richard: Well, the cows have eaten all the grass and since there was no grass left, they just went away.




(Birthday gift.)
Bijay gave his girlfriend a 2 meters tall teddy on his birthday.
Her mother took out all cotton from it and made 7 pillows.




Funny English Jokes : Vol 1 : Part 9

English Jokes Part 9 English Jokes - Part 9: CoverImage

(Bring my wife.)
A guy sits in a taxi and sees his wife entering a hotel with another man.
He ask the driver: Do you want to earn Rs.1000 right away?
The driver excitedly says: What do I have to do?
Man: Bring my wife by the hair out of that hotel, here's a picture of her.
After a while the driver is seen dragging a woman by the hair, while kicking and beating her and puts her in the taxi. The husband surprised and says says: This is not my wife.
The driver replied: Nooooo, this is mine. Hold her for me. I'm going for yours now.




(Wanna dance?)
Two girls were sitting at a club. One was ugly and the other one was beautiful.
Ravi came and walked straight to the ugly girl.
Ravi: Hi!
Ugly girl: Hi!
Ravi: Wanna dance?
Ugly girl (excited): Yes, why not.
Ravi: Ok, go and dance, give me your seat. Let me talk to your friend.




(Don't want to get married.)
One Friend: Do you know, Most of the girls don't want to get married?
Another Friend: Hmm! How did you know?
Friend: I asked lots of girls to marry me. But they all said no.




(Choices.)
On dinner time, Wife asks Husband.
Wife: Do you want dinner?
Husband: yeah, what are my choices?
Wife: Yes and No.




(Great invention.)
Little Johnny comes proudly to his mom: Mom, I've got a great idea for an invention!
Mom: Cool, tell me.
Johnny: It's a computerized hair-cutting machine. You put your head in a cube and the scissors cut whatever hairstyle you wish.
Mom: But how would that work, Johnny? People have all sorts of different head shapes and sizes!
Johnny: Only before cutting, Mom. Only before cutting!




(Bravery in the childhood.)
Teacher: How brave were you during your childhood?
Student: I kicked the Lion's face, I pulled Tiger's tail, I broke Cheetah's leg, I pulled Elephant's tail.
Teacher: Wow! you were very brave. Than others?
Student: Than my parents had to pay $215 to the toy shop.




(Heart touching.)
Heart touching lines by a smoker.
I trust on cigarettes more than girls.
Because, I am ready to damage my lungs but not my heart.




(Where's your dad?)
Teacher: Tell us, Johnny, where is your father staying on business?
Johnny: In Vishakhapatnam.
Teacher: How interesting. And now tell us all how it is spelled.
Johnny: Oh, I just remembered he got reposted to Goa.




(Go away.)
The class was told to paint a picture of cows grazing in a meadow.
Soon, Richard lifts a hand that he's finished and shows the teacher a blank sheet of paper.
Teacher: But Richard, you didn't paint anything on it?
Richard: Well, the cows have eaten all the grass and since there was no grass left, they just went away.




(Birthday gift.)
Bijay gave his girlfriend a 2 meters tall teddy on his birthday.
Her mother took out all cotton from it and made 7 pillows.




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