(Get all money back.)
(A little boy was selling parachutes.)
Little Boy: Buy this parachute and land safely on the ground during emergency.
Customer: What if this does not open when needed?
Little Boy: You'll get your money back.
Little Boy: Buy this parachute and land safely on the ground during emergency.
Customer: What if this does not open when needed?
Little Boy: You'll get your money back.
(Don't know my dad.)
Teacher: If you had two dollars and you asked your daddy for another dollar, how many dollars would you have in the end?
Johnny answers without hesitation: Two dollars.
Teacher: Come on, Johnny, you don't know how to count.
Johnny shrugs: Maybe, but I do know my dad!
Johnny answers without hesitation: Two dollars.
Teacher: Come on, Johnny, you don't know how to count.
Johnny shrugs: Maybe, but I do know my dad!
(Teacher failed.)
Son: Moooom! We all passed in our final exams.
Mom: Wow! No one failed?
Son: Mom! Our Teacher failed.
Mom: How did he fail?
Son: He's still teaching in the same class.
Mom: Wow! No one failed?
Son: Mom! Our Teacher failed.
Mom: How did he fail?
Son: He's still teaching in the same class.
(Great example.)
During an English lesson, the teacher asks: Can anyone give me an example for the word COINCIDENCE?
Little Johnny: Sir, my Mom and Dad were married on the same day.
Little Johnny: Sir, my Mom and Dad were married on the same day.
(How many times you shave?)
Friend: So, how many times a day do you shave?
Man: Well, about 30-50 times every day.
Friend: My god, are you some kind of crazy?
Man: No, I'm a barber.
Man: Well, about 30-50 times every day.
Friend: My god, are you some kind of crazy?
Man: No, I'm a barber.
(Which tense?)
English teacher asks class: Which tense is the sentence I am Beautiful.
Little Johnny replies: Clearly, past tense.
Little Johnny replies: Clearly, past tense.
(Master in calculations.)
Student: I am a master of fast calculations.
Teacher: OK, what is 855 time 642 divided by 5?
Student: 164.
Teacher: Ha ha, that's wrong!
Student: Might be, but it was fast!
Teacher: OK, what is 855 time 642 divided by 5?
Student: 164.
Teacher: Ha ha, that's wrong!
Student: Might be, but it was fast!
(Shot 4 goals.)
Little Johnny to his mom: I shot 4 goals at the soccer match today!
Mom: Wonderful, looks like your team won, right?
Little Johnny: Not really, it ended with 2:2.
Mom: Wonderful, looks like your team won, right?
Little Johnny: Not really, it ended with 2:2.
(Good news.)
Paul: I have good news and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?
Michael: The good news.
Paul: The good news is that I have no bad news.
Michael: The good news.
Paul: The good news is that I have no bad news.
(A man lost his wallet.)
John was late for school.
The teacher asked him why he was late, and John explained it was because he met a man who had lost his wallet on the street.
Teacher: Ah! you were helping him find it?
John: Um, not really, but I had to keep standing on it until he would give up and go away.
The teacher asked him why he was late, and John explained it was because he met a man who had lost his wallet on the street.
Teacher: Ah! you were helping him find it?
John: Um, not really, but I had to keep standing on it until he would give up and go away.