(Do dirty to me.)
GF: Dear! Do dirty things with me.
BF: (Took her outside and dip in the mud.)
BF: (Took her outside and dip in the mud.)
(My wife needed more space.)
My wife told me she needs more space.
I said no problem and locked her outside the house.
I said no problem and locked her outside the house.
(Faked my age!)
A 60 year old millionaire is getting married and throws a big wedding reception.
His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment one of them asks him how did he land such a hot 23 year old beauty?
Millionaire: Simple, I faked my age.
His friends are really amazed and ask him how much he said.
Millionaire: Well! I said I was 87.
His friends are quite jealous and in a quiet moment one of them asks him how did he land such a hot 23 year old beauty?
Millionaire: Simple, I faked my age.
His friends are really amazed and ask him how much he said.
Millionaire: Well! I said I was 87.
(Trip to Thailand.)
Wife: Honey, what will you give me for our 25th anniversary?
Husband: A trip to Thailand?
Wife: Wow, that's awesome, and for our 50th anniversary?
Husband: Then I pick you up again.
Husband: A trip to Thailand?
Wife: Wow, that's awesome, and for our 50th anniversary?
Husband: Then I pick you up again.
(You're not pregnant.)
Wife: I've had it with your silly remarks about my weight. I'm leaving you!
Husband: But honey, what about our child?
Wife: What child?
Husband: Oh, so you're not pregnant?
Husband: But honey, what about our child?
Wife: What child?
Husband: Oh, so you're not pregnant?
(Haven't spoken with wife.)
A: I haven't spoken a word to my wife in years.
B: Why? What happened between you?
A: She hates to be interrupted.
B: Why? What happened between you?
A: She hates to be interrupted.
(Mother-in-law's funeral.)
Boss: Oh, I didn't expect you at work today Mr. Brundy, isn't it your
Mother-in-law's funeral today?
Brundy: Well you know how it is. Work first, then fun.
Brundy: Well you know how it is. Work first, then fun.
(Wrong number.)
(A wife hangs up after about a half-hour on the phone.)
The husband is surprised: Wow, that was quick. Usually you women are at it for two hours at least!
Wife: Yeah, well, it was a wrong number.
The husband is surprised: Wow, that was quick. Usually you women are at it for two hours at least!
Wife: Yeah, well, it was a wrong number.
(What is happiness?)
A man simply doesn't have a clue what real happiness is until he gets married.
But then it's already too late for him.
But then it's already too late for him.
(No fees for kids.)
(A couple get into the public bus and asked the conductor for bus fees.)
Man: It doesn't take any charges for my kids, right?
Conductor: Yes, if they are under twelve.
Man: That's nice. U have only nine.
Man: It doesn't take any charges for my kids, right?
Conductor: Yes, if they are under twelve.
Man: That's nice. U have only nine.