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English Jokes Part 63 English Jokes - Part 63: CoverImage

(Do you like it at the beach?)
Man to his wife: Do you like it at the beach, darling?
Wife: Yes! The view makes me quite speechless, dear!
Husband: Very good, we're staying 3 weeks.




(Forgot her name 3 years ago.)
An elderly couple goes to their favorite restaurant they've been visiting together for decades. The man addresses his wife with all sorts of endearments, calling her his darling, sweetheart, his treasure etc.
When the lady excuses herself and goes to the bathroom, the waiter comments to the man: Wow, you have an amazing relationship with your wife, all those lovely names you call her.
The man looks at him: To be honest, it has become a necessity. I actually forgot her name about 3 years ago.




(What if I win a lottery?)
Husband: What would you do if I suddenly won the lottery?
Wife: Frankly, George, I'd just take my half and leave you.
Man: Fantastic. I won $20 yesterday. Here's your $10 and be off with you.




(Give me a puppy.)
Father: Happy birthday my boy! And what would you like as a gift?
Son: A dog.
Father: I'm sorry, but you know that's not possible.
Son: Ok, then I want to be the father for one day and you the son.
Father: Ok, no problem.
Son: Fantastic. Son, get dressed, we'll go to the animal shelter to look for a nice puppy.




(Nice weekend.)
Husband: Shall we make a nice weekend for each other, honey?
Wife: Oh, that would be lovely, George!
Husband: Fantastic! Well, see you Monday.




(Won't even start.)
Once all the engineering professors were sitting in one plane.
Before the takeoff, one announcement came: This plane is made by your students.
Then all professors stood up, ran and went outside.
But the principal was sitting.
One guy came and asked: Are you not afraid?
Then the principal replied: I trust my students very well and I am sure the plane won't even start.




(I won't talk to you is a punishment.)
Women are so funny sometimes.
They think that their long silences or I won't talk to you attitudes is actually a punishment.




(I want to study again.)
If a paper comes very tough in exam:
Just close your eyes for a moment,
Take a deep breath and say loudly: This is a very interesting subject, I want to study it again.




(Nothing would please me more.)
Husband: Soon we will be married for 10 years. I will get you a nice new car for our anniversary.
Wife: Oh darling. Nothing would please me more!
(And so the husband got her nothing for the anniversary.)




(I didn't belie....)
My mom told me to turn down the volume of music on my computer.
Or else she would smash my head on the keyboard.
But I didn't believtsksFvly73o h2ijw6;?A.




Funny English Jokes : Vol 1 : Part 63

English Jokes Part 63 English Jokes - Part 63: CoverImage

(Do you like it at the beach?)
Man to his wife: Do you like it at the beach, darling?
Wife: Yes! The view makes me quite speechless, dear!
Husband: Very good, we're staying 3 weeks.




(Forgot her name 3 years ago.)
An elderly couple goes to their favorite restaurant they've been visiting together for decades. The man addresses his wife with all sorts of endearments, calling her his darling, sweetheart, his treasure etc.
When the lady excuses herself and goes to the bathroom, the waiter comments to the man: Wow, you have an amazing relationship with your wife, all those lovely names you call her.
The man looks at him: To be honest, it has become a necessity. I actually forgot her name about 3 years ago.




(What if I win a lottery?)
Husband: What would you do if I suddenly won the lottery?
Wife: Frankly, George, I'd just take my half and leave you.
Man: Fantastic. I won $20 yesterday. Here's your $10 and be off with you.




(Give me a puppy.)
Father: Happy birthday my boy! And what would you like as a gift?
Son: A dog.
Father: I'm sorry, but you know that's not possible.
Son: Ok, then I want to be the father for one day and you the son.
Father: Ok, no problem.
Son: Fantastic. Son, get dressed, we'll go to the animal shelter to look for a nice puppy.




(Nice weekend.)
Husband: Shall we make a nice weekend for each other, honey?
Wife: Oh, that would be lovely, George!
Husband: Fantastic! Well, see you Monday.




(Won't even start.)
Once all the engineering professors were sitting in one plane.
Before the takeoff, one announcement came: This plane is made by your students.
Then all professors stood up, ran and went outside.
But the principal was sitting.
One guy came and asked: Are you not afraid?
Then the principal replied: I trust my students very well and I am sure the plane won't even start.




(I won't talk to you is a punishment.)
Women are so funny sometimes.
They think that their long silences or I won't talk to you attitudes is actually a punishment.




(I want to study again.)
If a paper comes very tough in exam:
Just close your eyes for a moment,
Take a deep breath and say loudly: This is a very interesting subject, I want to study it again.




(Nothing would please me more.)
Husband: Soon we will be married for 10 years. I will get you a nice new car for our anniversary.
Wife: Oh darling. Nothing would please me more!
(And so the husband got her nothing for the anniversary.)




(I didn't belie....)
My mom told me to turn down the volume of music on my computer.
Or else she would smash my head on the keyboard.
But I didn't believtsksFvly73o h2ijw6;?A.




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