(That's my fake account.)
Girlfriend: I want breakup with you.
Boyfriend: What? Why?
Girlfriend: Just nothing! I don't want to stay with you like this anymore.
Boyfriend: Did you find someone else?
Girlfriend: Yes! He's much better and richer than you.
Boyfriend: Is his name Robert?
Girlfriend: Huh? How do you know?
Boyfriend: Coz it's my fake account.
Boyfriend: What? Why?
Girlfriend: Just nothing! I don't want to stay with you like this anymore.
Boyfriend: Did you find someone else?
Girlfriend: Yes! He's much better and richer than you.
Boyfriend: Is his name Robert?
Girlfriend: Huh? How do you know?
Boyfriend: Coz it's my fake account.
(When do you sleep?)
Teacher: What time do you sleep?
Me: When my mobile battery goes 0%.
Me: When my mobile battery goes 0%.
(Stupid begger.)
Wife: The begger who came yesterday was very bastard.
Husband: Why?
Wife: Yesterday, I gave him food and today he has given me a book "Learn to cook".
Husband: Why?
Wife: Yesterday, I gave him food and today he has given me a book "Learn to cook".
(Lying on it.)
A truck driver phones his boss: Hey boss, my mirror is broken.
The boss says: Well then Just buy a new one and replace it then.
The truck driver answers: I can't. The truck is laying on it.
The boss says: Well then Just buy a new one and replace it then.
The truck driver answers: I can't. The truck is laying on it.
(Trying to be so.)
A woman shouts at her husband: Have you been drinking again? You promised me to try to be a different man!
Her husband replies: Yes, I'm doing so. See, the other man is not drinking.
Her husband replies: Yes, I'm doing so. See, the other man is not drinking.
(What have you been doing at school?)
Mom: So what have you been doing at school today, Johnny?
Son: I don't really want to talk about it mom. You'll see it later on the news, anyways.
Son: I don't really want to talk about it mom. You'll see it later on the news, anyways.
(Which tense?)
Teacher: "Rina is a beautiful girl." Ok Raj, tell me which tense is this?
Student: It's a past tense ma'am.
Teacher: Stupid! Don't you have attention in class while I was teaching? It is a present tense.
Student: Ma'am, if you'd said "Alina is beautiful girl.", it'd be present tense, but you said Rina, so it's a past tense.
Student: It's a past tense ma'am.
Teacher: Stupid! Don't you have attention in class while I was teaching? It is a present tense.
Student: Ma'am, if you'd said "Alina is beautiful girl.", it'd be present tense, but you said Rina, so it's a past tense.
(Who'll count this much money?)
After robbing the bank, the robbers wanted to take the cashier with them.
Cashier: You robbed the entire bank's money, now why are you taking me with you?
One of the robbers whispered: If we don't take you, than who'll count this much money?
Cashier: You robbed the entire bank's money, now why are you taking me with you?
One of the robbers whispered: If we don't take you, than who'll count this much money?
(Lie detector machine.)
Friend: Have you seen a Lie Detector machine?
Me: Yes, I have that machine at my home. I too have married that machine.
Me: Yes, I have that machine at my home. I too have married that machine.
(Isn't your father.)
Son: Daddy, I fell in love and want to date this awesome girl.
Father: That's great son. Who is she?
Son: It's Sandhya, the neighbour's daughter.
Father: Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandhya is actually your sister.
The boy is naturally depressed but a couple of months later:
Son: Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!
Father: That's great son. Who is she?
Son: It's Angela, the other neighbour's daughter.
Father: Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that. Angela is also your sister.
This went on couple of times and son was so mad, He went straight to his mother crying.
Son: Mom, I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date any of them because dad is their father!
The mother hugs him affectionately and says: My love, You can date whoever you want. He isn't your Father..
Father: That's great son. Who is she?
Son: It's Sandhya, the neighbour's daughter.
Father: Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that. I have to tell you something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother. Sandhya is actually your sister.
The boy is naturally depressed but a couple of months later:
Son: Daddy, I fell in love again and she is even hotter!
Father: That's great son. Who is she?
Son: It's Angela, the other neighbour's daughter.
Father: Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that. Angela is also your sister.
This went on couple of times and son was so mad, He went straight to his mother crying.
Son: Mom, I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date any of them because dad is their father!
The mother hugs him affectionately and says: My love, You can date whoever you want. He isn't your Father..