(Your eyesight are weak.)
Patient: Can you diagnose my illness?
Doctor: Your eyesight seems to be poor.
Patient: How did you come to that conclusion?
Doctor: Even you couldn't read the front board sign. This is a Veterinary hospital.
Doctor: Your eyesight seems to be poor.
Patient: How did you come to that conclusion?
Doctor: Even you couldn't read the front board sign. This is a Veterinary hospital.
(Good and bad news.)
Doctor: I have some bad news and very bad news. What do you want to hear first?
Patient: Tell me the good news first.
Doctor: Your lab report came and it said you have only 24 hours to live.
Patient: What the hell? Nothing could be worse than this news. So what is the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.
Patient: Tell me the good news first.
Doctor: Your lab report came and it said you have only 24 hours to live.
Patient: What the hell? Nothing could be worse than this news. So what is the very bad news?
Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.
(We managed.)
Person: Doctor, my son swallowed our house key one month before.
Doctor: But, why do you bring him after a month?
Person: We had a duplicate key, so we managed.
Doctor: But, why do you bring him after a month?
Person: We had a duplicate key, so we managed.
(Charge for plastic surgery.)
Patient: Doctor, how much you charge for a plastic surgery?
Doctor: It's about $10,000.
Patient: Alright, so how much it will be if I give some plastics?
Doctor: It's about $10,000.
Patient: Alright, so how much it will be if I give some plastics?
(Whom will you hit?)
Trainer: If an old man and a child come near your car, what will you hit?
Girl: Old man.
Trainer: Idiot. You should hit the Brake.
Girl: Old man.
Trainer: Idiot. You should hit the Brake.
(Your hand is cut.)
(A man meets an accident with his new Ferrari. A policeman arrives.)
Man: (Cried) Officer! My brand new car!
Police: You're such a materialistic person. You even haven't notice that your left arm has been cut off.
Man: (He looks at his left arm and yells) OMG! My Rolex watch!
Man: (Cried) Officer! My brand new car!
Police: You're such a materialistic person. You even haven't notice that your left arm has been cut off.
Man: (He looks at his left arm and yells) OMG! My Rolex watch!
(Anyone who's stupid here stand up.)
Teacher: Anyone who thinks he's stupid may stand up.
(Nobody stands up.)
Teacher: I'm sure there are some stupid students over here.
(Little Johnny stands up.)
Teacher: Oh, Johnny you think you're stupid?
Little Johnny: No sir, I just feel bad that you're standing alone.
(Nobody stands up.)
Teacher: I'm sure there are some stupid students over here.
(Little Johnny stands up.)
Teacher: Oh, Johnny you think you're stupid?
Little Johnny: No sir, I just feel bad that you're standing alone.
(Can you see brain?)
Teacher: Can you see God?
Student: No.
Teacher: Can you touch God?
Student: No.
Teacher: Then there is no God.
-
-
-
-
Student: Ma'am can you see your brain?
Teacher: No.
Student: Can you touch your brain?
Teacher: No.
Student: Than you don't have a brain.
Student: No.
Teacher: Can you touch God?
Student: No.
Teacher: Then there is no God.
-
-
-
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Student: Ma'am can you see your brain?
Teacher: No.
Student: Can you touch your brain?
Teacher: No.
Student: Than you don't have a brain.
(This can glow at night.)
Boy: Hey babe can I show you something?
Girl: Sure babe.
Boy: can I show this in your room?
Girl: OK.
Boy: Can we close the window?
Girl: Sure.
Boy: Can you close the door?
Girl: Okay (grasping).
Boy: can you turn off the lights?
Girl: Sure (even grasping).
Boy: Grab my hand.
Girl: (Grab his hand) what is it, babe?
Boy: Look at this, my watch can glow in the dark.
Girl: Sure babe.
Boy: can I show this in your room?
Girl: OK.
Boy: Can we close the window?
Girl: Sure.
Boy: Can you close the door?
Girl: Okay (grasping).
Boy: can you turn off the lights?
Girl: Sure (even grasping).
Boy: Grab my hand.
Girl: (Grab his hand) what is it, babe?
Boy: Look at this, my watch can glow in the dark.
(He's still celebrating.)
Wife: Look at that drunk guy.
Husband: Who is he?
Wife: 10 years ago he proposed me and I rejected him.
Husband: Oh my God. He is still celebrating.
Husband: Who is he?
Wife: 10 years ago he proposed me and I rejected him.
Husband: Oh my God. He is still celebrating.