(I'll come back later.)
(At an interview.)
Interviewer: In the beginning, you'll be earning 20000, later on it can go up to 40000.
Me: OK, I'll come again later then.
Interviewer: In the beginning, you'll be earning 20000, later on it can go up to 40000.
Me: OK, I'll come again later then.
(I'm offering 2000.)
A boss announces to his staff: I've lost a wallet with 5000 dollars, if you find it, I'm offering a 1000 dollars finder's fee!
A voice in the background says: I'm offering 2000 dollars.
A voice in the background says: I'm offering 2000 dollars.
(He's a wolf.)
At a psychiatric ward: Doctor, what should we do with the new guy in room 6? He believes he's a wolf.
Doctor: Whatever you do, but don't let his grandmother visit him.
Doctor: Whatever you do, but don't let his grandmother visit him.
(It'll be nice.)
Harry: Hey Sue, what do you say to a nice walk?
Sue: Oh Harry, that would be lovely.
Harry: Wonderful. Could you go and bring me some beer and cigarettes?
Sue: Oh Harry, that would be lovely.
Harry: Wonderful. Could you go and bring me some beer and cigarettes?
(Drinking my beer.)
Last night a Chinese guy came to my favorite bar.
I asked him if he knew Kung Fu or some other martial art.
He said: Why do you ask me that? Is it just because I'm Chinese?
I asked him if he knew Kung Fu or some other martial art.
He said: Why do you ask me that? Is it just because I'm Chinese?
Guy: No it's because you're drinking my beer.
(Do at your own risk.)
When somebody makes you really angry, count to three.
When you get to two, punch them in the face.
They won't be expecting that.
When you get to two, punch them in the face.
They won't be expecting that.
(I'm four.)
A prisoner is finally released, after many years in jail.
He stands at the pavement, yelling, "I'm free! I'm free!"
A little kid walks up to him happily and joins, "I'm four! I'm four!"
He stands at the pavement, yelling, "I'm free! I'm free!"
A little kid walks up to him happily and joins, "I'm four! I'm four!"
(That was yesterday.)
A: Look at your face I know what you had for breakfast.
B: What was it?
A: Eggs.
B: No, that was yesterday.
B: What was it?
A: Eggs.
B: No, that was yesterday.
(Use of schedule.)
Said to a railroad engineer: What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late.
The reply from the railroad engineer: How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule?
The reply from the railroad engineer: How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule?
(If you eat, I won't go.)
Once there were three turtles.
One day they decided to go on a picnic.
When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda.
The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back.
A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, "oh, come on, let's eat the sandwiches."
Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you eat, I won't go!"
One day they decided to go on a picnic.
When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda.
The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back.
A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, "oh, come on, let's eat the sandwiches."
Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you eat, I won't go!"
