(Call me poor and ugly.)
Women call me ugly occasionally.
But that's only until they hear how much money I make.
Then they call me poor and ugly.
But that's only until they hear how much money I make.
Then they call me poor and ugly.
(Cuz you're a boy.)
Brian: Mom, how come I still didn't get my period? I mean I'm already 19 and Janet got hers when she was just 13.
Mother: Listen to me, Brian, you're not getting a period ever.
Brian: But why mom?
Mother: Cuz you are a boy.
Mother: Listen to me, Brian, you're not getting a period ever.
Brian: But why mom?
Mother: Cuz you are a boy.
(Find me faster.)
If I ever go missing, you should put my picture on beer rather than milk bottles.
This way, my friends will find me faster.
This way, my friends will find me faster.
(Joke for mothers.)
When your first child eats some earth, a bit of grass or a worm, you take it to a doctor.
When your second child eats some earth, a bit of grass or a worm, you spit on a hankie and clean it.
When your third child eats some earth, a bit of grass or a worm, you wonder whether it still needs lunch.
When your second child eats some earth, a bit of grass or a worm, you spit on a hankie and clean it.
When your third child eats some earth, a bit of grass or a worm, you wonder whether it still needs lunch.
(Not fair.)
Two ants want to fight an elephant.
The elephant replies: Two on one? That's not fair!
The elephant replies: Two on one? That's not fair!
(You're a headmaster.)
Mother is waking her son: Paul, come, wake up, you have to go to school.
Paul: Aw mom, just a bit more sleep, please.
on: No, it's really high time, now get up.
Paul: But I don't want to. The children annoy me and the teachers are a complete pain.
Mom: Stop it, now. Get up and off to school with you!
Paul: Mom, give me two good reasons why I should go to the stupid school?
Mom: Paul, first of all, you're 45, and second, you're the headmaster.
Paul: Aw mom, just a bit more sleep, please.
on: No, it's really high time, now get up.
Paul: But I don't want to. The children annoy me and the teachers are a complete pain.
Mom: Stop it, now. Get up and off to school with you!
Paul: Mom, give me two good reasons why I should go to the stupid school?
Mom: Paul, first of all, you're 45, and second, you're the headmaster.
(What is an idiot?)
Son: Dad, what is an idiot?
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand?
Son: No.
Dad: An idiot is a person who tries to explain his ideas in such a strange and long way that another person who is listening to him can't understand him. Do you understand?
Son: No.
(Take bath in milk.)
A: Why do you take baths in milk?
B: Because I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower.
B: Because I can't find a cow tall enough for a shower.
(Is this enough.)
Customer in a restaurant: I would like to have a plate of rice and a piece of fried chicken and a cup of coffee.
Waitress: Is it enough Sir?
Customer: What? Do you think I can't buy more?
Waitress: Is it enough Sir?
Customer: What? Do you think I can't buy more?
(Trouble while making decision.)
Teacher: Do you have trouble in making decisions?
Student: Well.. yes and no.
Student: Well.. yes and no.
