(I was responsible.)
I have a very good feeling about my job interview today.
The manager said they were looking for somebody responsible.
I told: You've found your man.
Manager: Who's that man and how?
Me: Whenever there was a problem in my last job, they always said that I was responsible. So, I am a good responsible employee on your company.
The manager said they were looking for somebody responsible.
I told: You've found your man.
Manager: Who's that man and how?
Me: Whenever there was a problem in my last job, they always said that I was responsible. So, I am a good responsible employee on your company.
(Manage to drive one!)
A man well into his seventies asks his wife: Mary, doesn't it make you sad when you see me running after those young girls sometimes?
Mary: Not in the least, Peter. Our dog chases cars all the time and there's also no chance he could manage to drive one.
Mary: Not in the least, Peter. Our dog chases cars all the time and there's also no chance he could manage to drive one.
(Nice suggestions.)
What can I eat in the evening in front of the TV that wouldn't make me fat?
Your fingernails.
I love to help in those online Q&A communities.
Your fingernails.
I love to help in those online Q&A communities.
(Stalking.)
Peter: I fear my neighbor may be stalking me, she's been googling my name last night on her computer.
George: How can you say that?
Peter: I saw it clearly through my binoculars.
George: How can you say that?
Peter: I saw it clearly through my binoculars.
(Haunted house.)
I'm still not sure whether to buy this house. It's really nice and everything but I heard it's haunted.
Another man: I've never seen any ghosts here, and I've lived in the neighborhood for 500 years!
Another man: I've never seen any ghosts here, and I've lived in the neighborhood for 500 years!
(You can't sleep in class.)
Teacher to Paul: Wake up, Paul! You can't sleep in class!
Paul to teacher: I could actually, but it's just that you're a bit loud.
Paul to teacher: I could actually, but it's just that you're a bit loud.
(What should you do?)
If beautiful girl looks at you & smiles then what should you do?
Think Think.
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You should check whether you have closed your pant zip or not.
Think Think.
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You should check whether you have closed your pant zip or not.
(Important to learn second language.)
A family of mice were surprised by a big cat.
Father Mouse jumped and and said: Bow! how! vow!
The cat ran away.
Baby mouse: What was that, Father?
Father mouse: Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language.
Father Mouse jumped and and said: Bow! how! vow!
The cat ran away.
Baby mouse: What was that, Father?
Father mouse: Well, son, that's why it's important to learn a second language.
(Man with wooden leg.)
My friend said he knew a man with a wooden leg named Smith.
So I asked him: What was the name of his other leg?"
(Try this one with your friends. The next time you are teaching a lesson that includes this type of grammer.)
So I asked him: What was the name of his other leg?"
(Try this one with your friends. The next time you are teaching a lesson that includes this type of grammer.)
(Strict rules for snail.)
A snail walks into a bar and the barman tells him there's a strict policy about having snails in the bar and so kicks him out.
7 years later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman: What rule were you talking about?
7 years later the same snail re-enters the bar and asks the barman: What rule were you talking about?