(Lost while fighting.)
Teacher: How come you don't have your homework?
Pupil: I lost it when I was fighting this kid who kept saying you weren't the best teacher in the school.
Pupil: I lost it when I was fighting this kid who kept saying you weren't the best teacher in the school.
(Don't get dirty.)
B: What spends its days lying about on the ground but never gets dirty?
A: A shadow.
A: A shadow.
(Why woodpecker has a beak.)
A: Why does a woodpecker have a beak?
B: So as not to smash his head against the tree.
B: So as not to smash his head against the tree.
(A loyal dog.)
A man goes to a dog shelter and asks: Do you have a loyal dog?
The caretaker points: Take that one.
The man says: And is he really loyal?
The caretaker nods: Absolutely. I already sold him 6 times and he always comes back.
The caretaker points: Take that one.
The man says: And is he really loyal?
The caretaker nods: Absolutely. I already sold him 6 times and he always comes back.
(What is?)
Teacher: What is black, white, black, white, black, white?
Student: A penguin rolling down a mountain!
Student: A penguin rolling down a mountain!
(Caught a fish.)
Little Johnny walks into a pet store and asks the shop assistant: Could you do me a big favor and throw me a fish please?
Storekeeper: Why on the Earth would you want me to throw you a fish?
Little Johnny: Because I want to tell everybody at home that I caught a fish.
Storekeeper: Why on the Earth would you want me to throw you a fish?
(Rounded up.)
A farmer needs to know how many sheep he has in his field.
He calls his German Shepherd dog to count them for him.
The dog runs off, counts the sheep and returns to the farmer.
Farmer asked: How many?
The dog replied: 40.
The farmer is startled and says: What do you mean, 40. I only bought 37.
The dog shrugs: I rounded them up.
He calls his German Shepherd dog to count them for him.
The dog runs off, counts the sheep and returns to the farmer.
Farmer asked: How many?
The dog replied: 40.
The farmer is startled and says: What do you mean, 40. I only bought 37.
The dog shrugs: I rounded them up.
(Fall from 30 feet ladder.)
Bob: I just fell off a 30 ft ladder.
Jim: No way man, are you okay?
Bob: Yeah, luckily I was just on the first step.
Jim: No way man, are you okay?
Bob: Yeah, luckily I was just on the first step.
(Don't eat in bed.)
The kangaroo mother got incredibly itchy around her belly.
She opened her pouch and yelled into it: How often have I told you not to eat the crunchy cookies in bed!
She opened her pouch and yelled into it: How often have I told you not to eat the crunchy cookies in bed!
(Since two days.)
A: Two days ago, my friend Peter ran off with my wife.
B: Oh no, how long have you been friends?
A: Since two days ago.
B: Oh no, how long have you been friends?
A: Since two days ago.
