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English Jokes Part 18 English Jokes - Part 18: CoverImage

(Didn't come to get insulted.)
Boyfriend: For the last time I am telling you that I didn't come here to get insulted.
Girlfriend: Then where else do you usually go?




(Do or Die.)
Old concept: Do or die.
New concept: Do before you die.
Latest concept: Don't die until you do.
Our concept: What to do?




(Development in the past.)
After digging to a depth of 100 meters last year, Russian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago.

So, not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American scientists dug 200 meters and found traces of 2000 year old optical fibers, and have concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than the Russians?

One week later, not to be left behind, Nepalese scientist start digging as deep as 500 meters and have found absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 1000 years ago, their ancestors were already using Bluetooth and Wireless technology.




(50-50-90 Rule.)
Boss: Beware of 50-50-90 rule!
Employee: What do you mean Sir?
Boss: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there is 90% probability that you will get it wrong!




(Don't fight unarmed person.)
Boyfriend: Can we have a battle of intelligence between us?
Girlfriend: No thanks, I don't fight an unarmed person.




(What do you have?)
(A poor guy proposed a rich girl.)
Boy: I love you dear. Will you be mine forever?
Girl: I have a big house, car, lots of money, etc. What do you have?
Boy: Four Girlfriends like you.




(Just for time pass.)
BF: I love you dear.
GF: How much do you love me?
BF: As much you love me.
GF: Means you too are just doing time pass with me.




(At least switch off.)
Boyfriend: (playing the guitar) How's my guitar play?
Girlfriend: You should be on TV for your talent.
Boyfriend: Am I so good?
Boyfriend: If you were on TV, I can at least switch it off.




(A portable..)
(Little Johnny is working away furiously in the woodwork room when the teacher enters.)
Teacher: What are you making, Johnny?
Johnny: Sir, I'm making a portable.....
Teacher: What portable?
Johnny: Don't know yet, sir. I have just finished making a handle only.




(Like to be sun?)
Husband: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Wife: Awww... Yes!
Husband: Good! then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.




Funny English Jokes : Vol 1 : Part 18

English Jokes Part 18 English Jokes - Part 18: CoverImage

(Didn't come to get insulted.)
Boyfriend: For the last time I am telling you that I didn't come here to get insulted.
Girlfriend: Then where else do you usually go?




(Do or Die.)
Old concept: Do or die.
New concept: Do before you die.
Latest concept: Don't die until you do.
Our concept: What to do?




(Development in the past.)
After digging to a depth of 100 meters last year, Russian scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 1000 years, and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network one thousand years ago.

So, not to be outdone, in the weeks that followed, American scientists dug 200 meters and found traces of 2000 year old optical fibers, and have concluded that their ancestors already had advanced high-tech digital telephone 1000 years earlier than the Russians?

One week later, not to be left behind, Nepalese scientist start digging as deep as 500 meters and have found absolutely nothing. They have concluded that 1000 years ago, their ancestors were already using Bluetooth and Wireless technology.




(50-50-90 Rule.)
Boss: Beware of 50-50-90 rule!
Employee: What do you mean Sir?
Boss: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there is 90% probability that you will get it wrong!




(Don't fight unarmed person.)
Boyfriend: Can we have a battle of intelligence between us?
Girlfriend: No thanks, I don't fight an unarmed person.




(What do you have?)
(A poor guy proposed a rich girl.)
Boy: I love you dear. Will you be mine forever?
Girl: I have a big house, car, lots of money, etc. What do you have?
Boy: Four Girlfriends like you.




(Just for time pass.)
BF: I love you dear.
GF: How much do you love me?
BF: As much you love me.
GF: Means you too are just doing time pass with me.




(At least switch off.)
Boyfriend: (playing the guitar) How's my guitar play?
Girlfriend: You should be on TV for your talent.
Boyfriend: Am I so good?
Boyfriend: If you were on TV, I can at least switch it off.




(A portable..)
(Little Johnny is working away furiously in the woodwork room when the teacher enters.)
Teacher: What are you making, Johnny?
Johnny: Sir, I'm making a portable.....
Teacher: What portable?
Johnny: Don't know yet, sir. I have just finished making a handle only.




(Like to be sun?)
Husband: Would you like to be the sun in my life?
Wife: Awww... Yes!
Husband: Good! then stay 92.96 million miles away from me.




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