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English Jokes Part 13 English Jokes - Part 13: CoverImage

(Thank for the warning.)
A girlfriend said to boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
Boyfriend: Thanks for the warning, Dear!




(Time heals.)
John: Oh no, my hand is bleeding!
Ravi: Here take my watch.
John: What? Why?
Ravi: Well! time heals all wounds.




(Bald for years.)
The teacher says to little Johnny: When your father sees this report card, his hair will go all grey (To be exceedingly worried, stressed, or upset)!
Johnny: Nice! That will make him very happy. He's been bald for years.




(Not to worry.)
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she'd had before me.
She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.
Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she's holding her cell phone with a calculator app open.




(Just take a bath.)
Patient: Doctor, I keep seeing houseflies buzzing around me.
Doctor: Don't worry! Just take a bath. It'll go away.




(Did it again.)
(Police stops a man in his car.)
Police: Sir, what's in that bottle?
Man replies: Water.
Police: (sniffs) It smells like wine!
Man: Oh no, God did it again!




(More..)
A girlfriend and boyfriend lying in bed cuddling: Am I your dream woman, Jack?
Jack: You are much more than that.
Girl: (giggles) How much more, Jack?
Jack: About 60 KG.




(Ate with ear.)
A man walked into the doctor's office with a strawberry stuck in his ear.
Man: (showing his ear) Can you help me doctor?
Doctor: Yes! But why were you eating with your ear?




(Memory getting bad.)
George's memory was getting so bad, so he asked the pharmacist: Do you have any Acetylsalicylic acid?
Pharmacist: You mean aspirin?
Patient: That's it! I can never remember that word.




(Help to clean.)
(One day the house pet dog dies and one of the worker cried whole day. In the evening, the owner asked.)
Owner: Why are you crying so much? That was just a dog.
Worker: It was just a dog. But it used to help me to clean plates. Now, I have to clean all of them myself.




Funny English Jokes : Vol 1 : Part 13

English Jokes Part 13 English Jokes - Part 13: CoverImage

(Thank for the warning.)
A girlfriend said to boyfriend: One kiss and I'll be yours forever.
Boyfriend: Thanks for the warning, Dear!




(Time heals.)
John: Oh no, my hand is bleeding!
Ravi: Here take my watch.
John: What? Why?
Ravi: Well! time heals all wounds.




(Bald for years.)
The teacher says to little Johnny: When your father sees this report card, his hair will go all grey (To be exceedingly worried, stressed, or upset)!
Johnny: Nice! That will make him very happy. He's been bald for years.




(Not to worry.)
I asked my new girlfriend how many men she'd had before me.
She said not to worry, she could count them all on one hand.
Unfortunately, this was when I noticed she's holding her cell phone with a calculator app open.




(Just take a bath.)
Patient: Doctor, I keep seeing houseflies buzzing around me.
Doctor: Don't worry! Just take a bath. It'll go away.




(Did it again.)
(Police stops a man in his car.)
Police: Sir, what's in that bottle?
Man replies: Water.
Police: (sniffs) It smells like wine!
Man: Oh no, God did it again!




(More..)
A girlfriend and boyfriend lying in bed cuddling: Am I your dream woman, Jack?
Jack: You are much more than that.
Girl: (giggles) How much more, Jack?
Jack: About 60 KG.




(Ate with ear.)
A man walked into the doctor's office with a strawberry stuck in his ear.
Man: (showing his ear) Can you help me doctor?
Doctor: Yes! But why were you eating with your ear?




(Memory getting bad.)
George's memory was getting so bad, so he asked the pharmacist: Do you have any Acetylsalicylic acid?
Pharmacist: You mean aspirin?
Patient: That's it! I can never remember that word.




(Help to clean.)
(One day the house pet dog dies and one of the worker cried whole day. In the evening, the owner asked.)
Owner: Why are you crying so much? That was just a dog.
Worker: It was just a dog. But it used to help me to clean plates. Now, I have to clean all of them myself.




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