(You can't sleep in my class.)
Teacher tells little Johnny off: You know very well you can't sleep in my class, Johnny.
Johnny admits: Yes, I know miss. But maybe, if you didn't speak quite so loud, I could.
Johnny admits: Yes, I know miss. But maybe, if you didn't speak quite so loud, I could.
(Why it's your sister crying?)
Mom: Johnny, why is your little sister crying?
Little Johnny: Because I helped her.
Mom: But that is a good thing! What did you help her with?
Little Johnny: I helped her eat her cookies.
Little Johnny: Because I helped her.
Mom: But that is a good thing! What did you help her with?
Little Johnny: I helped her eat her cookies.
(25% have mind.)
Boyfriend: Amazing world, only 25% boys have mind, very short figure!
Girlfriend: what about Rest?
Boyfriend: Well rest have Girlfriends.
Girlfriend: what about Rest?
Boyfriend: Well rest have Girlfriends.
(Magical words.)
Wife: Darling, it was such a hard day. Can you tell me the three magical words that always make me so happy?
Husband: You are right.
Wife: Very funny, no, the other ones.
Husband: I was wrong.
Husband: You are right.
Wife: Very funny, no, the other ones.
Husband: I was wrong.
(Our teacher don't know anything.)
Little Johnny complains to mom at home: Mom, our teacher really doesn't know anything.
Mom: Why are you saying it?
Little Johnny: Mom! He keeps asking us!
Mom: Why are you saying it?
Little Johnny: Mom! He keeps asking us!
(Already married.)
Sammy kissed his girlfiend in the park.
Girl: Please, all this should be done only after marriage.
Sammy: Don't worry darling! I'm already married.
Girl: Please, all this should be done only after marriage.
Sammy: Don't worry darling! I'm already married.
(Forget the baby.)
My wife is so negative.
I remembered the car seat, the stroller, and the diaper bag.
Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
I remembered the car seat, the stroller, and the diaper bag.
Yet all she can talk about is how I forgot the baby.
(Smart answer.)
The couples therapist said: So, tell me what brings you here today?
My wife said: It's really difficult to live with him. He's so literal.
Husband said: My Car.
My wife said: It's really difficult to live with him. He's so literal.
Husband said: My Car.
(Smallest animals.)
Teacher: What is the smartest animal?
Student: Fish.
Teacher: How?
Student: Because they stay in schools.
Student: Fish.
Teacher: How?
Student: Because they stay in schools.
(Pray before eating.)
A husband and wife were dining at a 5-star restaurant.
When their food arrived, the husband said: Our food has arrived! Let's eat!
His wife reminded him: Honey, you always say your prayers at home before your dinner!
Her husband replied: That's at home, my dear. Here the chef knows how to cook.
When their food arrived, the husband said: Our food has arrived! Let's eat!
His wife reminded him: Honey, you always say your prayers at home before your dinner!
Her husband replied: That's at home, my dear. Here the chef knows how to cook.