(Don't eat fast food.)
Boyfriend: Honey! I started eating snails and turtles.
Girlfriend: Snails and turtles? But why?
Boyfriend: Doctor told me I should not eat fast food.
Girlfriend: Snails and turtles? But why?
Boyfriend: Doctor told me I should not eat fast food.
(Bought two dogs.)
Husband: Look Dear, I bought two dogs and named them ONE & TWO.
Wife: Nice, but why did you name them like that?
Husband: If I lose ONE, I still have TWO.
Wife: Nice, but why did you name them like that?
Husband: If I lose ONE, I still have TWO.
(Yes, yes. Always.)
Boyfriend: Can I hug you?
Girlfriend: No!
Boyfriend: Did you hear what I said?
Girlfriend: Yes!
Boyfriend: What did I say?
Girlfriend: Can I hug you?
Boyfriend: Yes, yes! Baby, always.
Girlfriend: No!
Boyfriend: Did you hear what I said?
Girlfriend: Yes!
Boyfriend: What did I say?
Girlfriend: Can I hug you?
Boyfriend: Yes, yes! Baby, always.
(I have become a scientist.)
Friend: Dude! What you have been doing in your holidays?
Me: I have become a scientist.
Friend: That's great! What do you work as a scientist?
Me: I turn Oxygen to Carbon dioxide.
Me: I have become a scientist.
Friend: That's great! What do you work as a scientist?
Me: I turn Oxygen to Carbon dioxide.
(Why are you crying?)
At hospital:
Me: (crying) huuhhhuughhhuuhh.
Bro: Why are you crying dude?
Me: I came here for blood test.
Bro: So, are you afraid?
Me: No, but for blood test, they will cut my to take out the blood.
Bro: (starts to cry) huuhhhuughhhuuhh.
Me: Why are you crying now, bro?
Bro: I've come here for urine test.
Me: (crying) huuhhhuughhhuuhh.
Bro: Why are you crying dude?
Me: I came here for blood test.
Bro: So, are you afraid?
Me: No, but for blood test, they will cut my to take out the blood.
Bro: (starts to cry) huuhhhuughhhuuhh.
Me: Why are you crying now, bro?
Bro: I've come here for urine test.
(Why you teach us History?)
(Richard and Sam were arguing, teacher enters the class.)
Richard: Ma'am, yesterday he stole my pencil.
Sam: No, ma'am. He is lying.
Teacher: Ok, stop it and forget that. We should foucs on future. There's no point discussing things that happened in past.
Richard: Then why the hell do you teach us History?
Richard: Ma'am, yesterday he stole my pencil.
Sam: No, ma'am. He is lying.
Teacher: Ok, stop it and forget that. We should foucs on future. There's no point discussing things that happened in past.
Richard: Then why the hell do you teach us History?
(Speak Italian.)
Girl: Baby can you speak Italian? Because you like watching their soccer so attentively.
Boy: Yeah understand everything.
Girl: Mmmmm! can you speak a little of Italian so that I hear you?
Boy: Neymer Totti Messi Ancelotti Piero Maldin Di Natale Konte.
Girl: Wow! What does that mean?
Boy: In all days as long as am breathing you will remain in my heart.
Girl: Thank you Jack. I love you so much.
Boy: Balotelli.
Girl:Hmmm! And what does that one mean?
Boy:l love you too.
Girl: Awwwwwww!
Boy: Yeah understand everything.
Girl: Mmmmm! can you speak a little of Italian so that I hear you?
Boy: Neymer Totti Messi Ancelotti Piero Maldin Di Natale Konte.
Girl: Wow! What does that mean?
Boy: In all days as long as am breathing you will remain in my heart.
Girl: Thank you Jack. I love you so much.
Boy: Balotelli.
Girl:Hmmm! And what does that one mean?
Boy:l love you too.
Girl: Awwwwwww!
(Best excuse in school.)
Teacher: Everybody take out your homework.
Student: Ma'am, I've done it in my rough copy.
Teacher: Okay, take out your rough copy.
Student: Ma'am, Forgot to bring the rough copy.
Student: Ma'am, I've done it in my rough copy.
Teacher: Okay, take out your rough copy.
Student: Ma'am, Forgot to bring the rough copy.
(Fact vs Universal Truth.)
Universal Truth:
Sun rises in the east and sets in the west.
Fact:
Sun neither rises nor sets, it's only Earth that rotates around sun.
Moral:
Education kills our common sense.
Sun rises in the east and sets in the west.
Fact:
Sun neither rises nor sets, it's only Earth that rotates around sun.
Moral:
Education kills our common sense.
(Preparation for exams.)
Teacher: Rabin! How's your preparation for your exams going on?
Rabin: I'm preparing well, sir. I've finished polishing my shoes, ironing my clothes, styling the hair. Now, only the thing left is to read the books.
Rabin: I'm preparing well, sir. I've finished polishing my shoes, ironing my clothes, styling the hair. Now, only the thing left is to read the books.