(My parents had come.)
A woman comes home late in the night and goes quietly in the bedroom.
To her surprise, she sees male and female feet peeking out from under the blanket.
Shocked and raging, she gets her baseball bat and beats and beats until all movement stops.
After that she goes into the living room and sees her husband laying on the sofa.
He turns to her half asleep: Oh, you're home, darling. I'm afraid we have to sleep here tonight, my parents came for a surprise visit.
To her surprise, she sees male and female feet peeking out from under the blanket.
Shocked and raging, she gets her baseball bat and beats and beats until all movement stops.
After that she goes into the living room and sees her husband laying on the sofa.
He turns to her half asleep: Oh, you're home, darling. I'm afraid we have to sleep here tonight, my parents came for a surprise visit.
(Go and buy lottery ticket.)
Harry prays to God: Dear Lord, Please make me win the lottery.
The next day Harry begs the Lord again: Please make it so I win the lottery, God!
The next day, Harry again prays: Please, please, dear God, make me win the lottery!
Suddenly he hears a voice from above: Harry, would you kindly go and buy a lottery ticket.
The next day Harry begs the Lord again: Please make it so I win the lottery, God!
The next day, Harry again prays: Please, please, dear God, make me win the lottery!
Suddenly he hears a voice from above: Harry, would you kindly go and buy a lottery ticket.
(Don't want to have children.)
(Me and my wife.)
We've decided that we don't want to have children.
So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.
We've decided that we don't want to have children.
So anybody who wants one can leave us their phone number and address and we will bring you one.
(Open the door!)
Police: Open the door!
Man: I don't want any balls, please go away.
Police: What? We don't have balls!
Man: I know.
Man: I don't want any balls, please go away.
Police: What? We don't have balls!
Man: I know.
(How am I looking?)
(A fat woman got a chance to see herself in a magic mirror.)
Woman : Mirror! Mirror! How am I looking?
Mirror: Kindly remove big objects in front of me. I can't see anyone.
Woman : Mirror! Mirror! How am I looking?
Mirror: Kindly remove big objects in front of me. I can't see anyone.
(Can't open the bottom!)
Smith: Doctor, do you remember this strengthening solution you prescribed me yesterday?
Doctor: Yes, what's the matter?
Smith: I would like to use it but I can't open the bottle!
Doctor: Yes, what's the matter?
Smith: I would like to use it but I can't open the bottle!
(This is my first operation.)
Patient: Oh doctor, I'm just so nervous. This is my first operation.
Doctor: Don't worry. Mine too first operation, but I'm not getting nervous.
Doctor: Don't worry. Mine too first operation, but I'm not getting nervous.
(An alcoholic.)
Son: Daddy, what is an alcoholic?
Dad: Do you see those 4 trees, son? An alcoholic would see 8 trees.
Son: But daddy, there are only two trees.
Dad: Do you see those 4 trees, son? An alcoholic would see 8 trees.
Son: But daddy, there are only two trees.
(You need plastic surgery.)
Wife: Wait for me honey, I'm just finishing my make-up.
Husband: You don't need make-up, Jane.
Husband: Oh, Richard. Really? That is so sweet of you!
Husband: You need plastic surgery.
Husband: You don't need make-up, Jane.
Husband: Oh, Richard. Really? That is so sweet of you!
Husband: You need plastic surgery.
(Came through window.)
Doctor: Hello, did you come to see me with an eye problem?
Patient: Wow, yes, how did you know?
Doctor: Because you came in through the window instead of the door.
Patient: Wow, yes, how did you know?
Doctor: Because you came in through the window instead of the door.