(Fly's on vacation.)
Customer: Waiter! waiter!
Waiter: Yes sir! What's the problem?
Customer: There is a frog in my soup.
Waiter: Sorry, sir. The fly is on vacation.
Waiter: Yes sir! What's the problem?
Customer: There is a frog in my soup.
Waiter: Sorry, sir. The fly is on vacation.
(The Perfect Son.)
A:I have the perfect son.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.
B: Does he smoke?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he drink whiskey?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: Does he ever come home late?
A: No, he doesn't.
B: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
A: He will be six months old next Wednesday.
(Don't have driver license.)
Judge: Why did you steal the car?
Man: I had to get to work.
Judge: Why didn't you take the bus?
Man: I don't have a driver's license for the bus.
Man: I had to get to work.
Judge: Why didn't you take the bus?
Man: I don't have a driver's license for the bus.
(A dirty joke.)
A: Do you want to hear a dirty joke?
B: Ok.
A: A white horse fell in the mud.
B: Ok.
A: A white horse fell in the mud.
(Did all by himself.)
Teacher: Did your father help your to do your homework?
Student: No, he did it all by himself.
Student: No, he did it all by himself.
(Start from the Bank Account.)
Man: I could go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: Yes, but would you stay there.
Man: I offer you myself.
Woman: I am sorry I never accept cheap gifts.
Man: I want to share my everything with you.
Woman: Ok, Let's start from your bank account.
Woman: Yes, but would you stay there.
Man: I offer you myself.
Woman: I am sorry I never accept cheap gifts.
Man: I want to share my everything with you.
Woman: Ok, Let's start from your bank account.
(Being late for train.)
(A man asks a farmer near a field.)
Man: Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it. You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.
Farmer: Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you'll even catch the 4:11 one.
Man: Sorry sir, would you mind if I crossed your field instead of going around it. You see, I have to catch the 4:23 train.
Farmer: Sure, go right ahead. And if my bull sees you, you'll even catch the 4:11 one.
(The Biggest Lie.)
(Two boys were arguing when the teacher entered the classroom.)
The teacher says: Why are you arguing?
One boy answers: We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.
Teacher: You should be ashamed of yourselves, When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was.
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
The teacher says: Why are you arguing?
One boy answers: We found a ten dollor bill and decided to give it to whoever tells the biggest lie.
Teacher: You should be ashamed of yourselves, When I was your age I didn't even know what a lie was.
The boys gave the ten dollars to the teacher.
(Complaints for doing nothing.)
Headmaster: I've heard complaints about you, Johnny, from all your teachers. What have you been doing?
Johnny: Nothing, sir.
Headmaster: Exactly.
Johnny: Nothing, sir.
Headmaster: Exactly.
(The man lost $100.)
Teacher: Why are you late?
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.
Student: There was a man who lost a hundred dollar bill.
Teacher: That's nice. Were you helping him look for it?
Student: No. I was standing on it.